There could many reasons for feeling stuck.
You may not know what to do.
Or you may have an idea but not know how to take those first steps.
It might make you feel afraid.
Afraid of failure.
Afraid of change.
Afraid of feeling out of control.
It might make you put it off for another day, another week, another month or another year.
Perhaps you may feel like there’s not one thing you can do because you feel it’s someone else that’s stopping you.
I’ve felt stuck due to all of these reasons and probably a few more.
No matter what the reason, I’ve always managed to find some kind of way out.
When I went from job to job chasing happiness and fulfilment and never found it…
When my first husband left me out of the blue for someone else…
When I was being bullied by my manager in work…
When I suffered with postnatal depression after my second baby…
When I thought my marriage was on the verge of collapse…
Whatever the situation…
Whatever the challenge…
I always found a way to get unstuck by doing three things…
- Being aware of the reasons why you’re stuck
- Recognising how your challenges can help you
- Making a conscious choice and taking action
It didn’t take long for me to feel like I was stuck in my job a few years back. I felt like I was not doing what the thing I was meant to be doing. I felt like I had failed because it was my idea to ditch my corporate career so that I could have less responsibility, less hours working, less of a commute and because at the time, I was in a dark place mentally, suffering with postnatal depression without realising it.
On the outside, I got amazingly good act smiling behind gritted teeth, but on inside I felt like I was wasting away, living my life for my children and not doing what I really wanted. But what that THING was, I couldn’t work out.
I was stuck.
I knew I have this deep burning desire to help others and to give back, but I wasn’t sure how, what, where and when. The more I thought about it, the more annoyed and the more withdrawn I became.
Looking back on this time in my life, I realise that the first thing I did was look at the reasons WHY I felt this way. I realised that I’d made the choice to work in this environment for the good of my children and because at the time, I wasn’t able to focus on my work or any kind of new challenge. I had sought out an environment where I had no responsibility but with that came no feeling of being needed, no influence to make and improve things and worst of all – a very low income. This in turn, negatively impacted my marriage, my self-confidence and my self-worth.
Once I’d become aware of WHY I felt stuck, I started to talk to other people in my workplace about how I was feeling. I talked openly about why I had chosen to take this job and why I now felt stuck two years into the job. Talking gave me an insight into how they were feeling and to my surprise, a lot of them felt the same, but had resigned to the fact that there was nothing they could do. They sounded sad and deflated and it bothered me that these talented individuals were being wasted in a job that didn’t fill them with fulfilment and happiness. Just like me.
My breakthrough moment came when I realised that there might be a reason I was stuck in that situation and that’s when I started seeing being stuck there as something that needed to happen to me to help me move forward.
It sort of happened overnight from that moment.
Like an aha moment, I became aware that if I could get myself ‘unstuck’, then I could take what I learnt and share that with others. So all the sadness and despair I felt was meant to happen so that I would become aware of how one can become unstuck from their life situations. In other words, my pain and problem was really…the solution.
I had moved onto step two – recognising how your challenges can help you.
As soon as I had this recognition, it’s like I started to view the world through different glasses. Suddenly, I realised I DID have choices and that I could use my challenge as an opportunity to not only free myself from this predicament, but an opportunity to show others how to do the same.
This isn’t a quick fix by any means. It can take time and effort, but it’s your choice to gain awareness, gain recognition and make a conscious choice and take the right action.
It’s your choice.