Five years ago, I was feeling alone, unfulfilled, under-valued and started to feel like I wasn’t succeeding in life. My self-esteem was virtually at rock bottom and I longed for a situation where I was not financially dependent on my husband so I could feel like I was contributing something positive to our lives. Instead, I felt like I was treading water and couldn’t see any way out of the darkness I was stumbling about in. I felt like I was failing and losing who I really was.
I blamed so much of how I was feeling and what went wrong in my life on my husband. It was easy to do because he was there. I became an angry mum and a horrible wife. I blamed him for being an awful husband, for not listening, for not understanding me, for not helping me with the kids, for not making me feel wanted and needed. I started to want him out of my life, and we began arguing in front of our young kids. Neither of us were happy. I felt physically and mentally exhausted, I wasn’t sleeping great, I had no sex drive and felt completely hopeless and inadequate as a woman.
Admitting how I was feeling out loud felt like admitting failure, but I could feel the weight of the pressure crushing down on me. It was a pressure I had put on myself to be in control, to be liked, to be loved, valued and appreciated. I was constantly chasing my tail and never really catching it and actually feeling guilty for feeling this way. I just wanted OUT of everything.
One morning as my husband went off to work and left me with sorting out the kids AND holding down a full-time job, I sat down and just cried. I sobbed and sobbed and didn’t stop for a long while. Feeling like a failure and guilty for bothering someone else, I called my mum, and she made the 2-hour trip to see me and encouraged me to see a doctor.
I was a complete mess at the doctors and she just let me sob in her office for what felt like hours. I couldn’t form sentences and couldn’t explain why I was feeling like this, why I was crying, what was making me sad, and I couldn’t see how she could help me.
The doctor diagnosed postal-natal depression and recommended medication, complete rest and couples therapy to help save my relationship with my husband.
Slowly, I started to turn things around in my head mentally, and I started to rebuild my relationship with my husband and my children. It was while I was signed off work sick that I admitted to myself that I had had enough of the corporate world because it was making me feel under appreciated and under-utilised, and I knew my life had to change, so I sat down and made a list of things that I COULD realistically change.
The glaringly obvious factor was my job and after calculating what was needed to ensure we kept our heads above the water. I took the plunge and left my office job.
However, THIS post is about what I added to my life which had, and continues to have, a real positive impact on me, my personal well-being, my heart and my soul.
I took some time to think about what I loved to do but that I didn’t make time for and that was dancing. Now… I may not be very good at it and I’m not trained in any way, but I used to be part of an adult street dance troop some while back but had to stop because my life just got busy doing things for my kids and other people. I’m not using them as an excuse because it was me who did this. I let this happen.
But once I took some time out and thought about the stuff that made ME happy, I remembered how I felt when I danced and let me tell you, I felt amazing.
My family and my friends started to notice the difference and it became a bit of fun talking point so NOW I dance for me and I don’t care what people think or say about me (watch my video about not giving a toss about what people say anymore bit.ly/2S5iqn5 and learn MY secrets to how to achieve this!).
I now share this video with YOU so that YOU too can see how shaking your stuff lightens your mood, balances your energies and it’s SO much fun!
It’s no lie that dancing can improve your mood, but it’s actually scientifically proven to fight stress, anxiety as well as depression and it worked and I’ve come to realise through this personal experience that dancing can really help illnesses — both physically and mentally.
Dancing has help rebuild my self-confidence, soothe my soul and liberated me!
You don’t have to join a class like I did if you don’t want to…just dance your butt off in your living room like I did in THIS video! Enjoy!
#dancinglikeyoujustdontcare #justletitallgo #expressyourself #dancemoreworryless