Beliefs are SO important when we’re trying to understand our own development as a woman and as a Mum.
Your thoughts, your ideas and your beliefs play a BIG part in determining what you do in your life, where you go and how you do it.
Do you believe things to be true about you that you can’t do something or maybe you believe things about what others might think about you that stops you and limits you in some way?
If you have a natural tendency to believe the worst case scenario is going to happen to you, this actually prevents you from taking action towards the making positive changes in your life.
Did you know that some of your beliefs can poke fun at your insecurities, your failures and your anxious worries. You may not even realise that the beliefs you hold, YOU actually crafted these for yourself over the years through your past experiences or the odd comment from someone here or there. But those thoughts become deeply embedded inside of you and they form who you are now and they shape your attitude. Your thoughts and beliefs shape everything you do and the decisions you make in your life.
Realising that your thoughts and beliefs CAN be changed is easy. Take it from me. They CAN change.
After becoming a Mum, I adopted the belief that being a Mum should be enough. I believed THIS WAS WHO I WAS NOW. I adopted a new identity as a mother and created new beliefs about what I could do and ‘should’ do. I went out less because I believed I needed to be there for kids. I believed that to spend money on me was wrong and I created this ‘mummy guilt’ if I did think about doing something ‘for me’. I believed I needed to be busy all the time because that’s what Mums do. I adopted a new persona as angry Mum…not by choice you understand but I guess I just accepted that this was what happened. Despite the fact I knew this wasn’t really me, I felt like I couldn’t control this. I believed this was all part of being a Mum. I believed that being exhausted and lonely was ‘normal’ and I accepted this as just how it was and how it would always be. I gave up my full time corporate job because I couldn’t make it work with raising two children as well, so I then believed I failed at having a career. I believed I was a failure in my job. I watched with internal jealousy as my husband remained constantly strong and focussed in his work and believed he didn’t understand how I was feeling. I believed we were growing apart so I started to believe I didn’t need him anymore and I got myself a job in a school to work around my kids’ timings because I believed this was the best thing to do…the right thing to do. I believed that I wasn’t worth anything more than what I was currently doing. I believed I was not a great Mum and I believed everything was my husband’s fault.
Let me take a step back at this point and try to explain a little more about me B.C. (before children) so you get the full picture…
I used to be a confident, outgoing, super-charged independent girl, chasing new challenges anywhere and everywhere. Hell, I even went travelling alone, did bungee jumps over goodness knows where! I lived with a family in the U.S. and looked after their teenage teenage children for one Summer. It was a time when I felt the most free, the most in control and most happy. Okay, I scared the hell out of my Mum doing all this but I loved the thrill and excitement of doing stuff that got my adrenaline pumping.
A.C (after children) was a completely different story. It was a snowball effect of negative and very limiting and really damaging beliefs.
This went on for 2 long years and I’d got to a point where I’d lost all control, I was not sleeping well, I was waking up exhausted and a short fuse with everyone and everything. The simplest of tasks became giant problems and multi-tasking was no longer an option.
I did the only thing anyone would do in that situation. I called my Mum.
My story after that point is explained in my post titled PostNatal Depression and Me but my Mum was amazing in getting me the help and support I needed and a diagnosis of PND gave all these feelings and beliefs a reason for being there.
The road to recovery was not easy or short and some of those negative and limiting beliefs I had created and adopted remained with me, like a constant reminder of a ‘blip’ in my life. A blip that felt like a massive failure for a long time for me. Now…right NOW…I can say with real certainty that this was not a failure…it was just a ‘blip’…a bump in the road and something that was out of my control. That’s mental health all over. You are NOT in control.
So, it was the decision I made on how I viewed this bump on the road that would determine how the rest of my life would pan out.
At this point, my subconscious mind held onto those crappy negative beliefs for dear life because I have learnt that your subconscious believes everything and has no filter. It doesn’t really know the difference between what’s true and what’s not true. Your subconscious mind is like this a little naive child, believing everything it is told, believing everything they see or interpret from words they hear, from a raised eyebrow, from laughter. It then holds onto that unfiltered belief so tightly no matter what.
You and your conscious mind thinks you are both in control of your beliefs, but actually it’s your subconscious mind that IS in control.
So your first step in punching out your limiting subconscious beliefs and creating fresh new positive ninja beliefs is to become aware of them. Once I essentially ‘woke up’ to what my subconscious was doing, I made the decision to not let THIS be who I was or what I was doing be the last thing I did on this Earth.
I felt there had to be more and I was desperate AND I MEAN DESPERATE to get that fun, joy, passion and laughter back in my life. I wanted another reason to wake up in the morning besides just my kids. I wanted my life to be worth living for ME but my subconscious beliefs would tug at my clothing and tell me I was wrong and it would make me feel guilty for wanting more.
But I stayed ‘awake’ and ignored that nagging subconscious lying belief and I made the decision to follow my dreams. At that moment, when I made that decision to ignore my subconscious mind and it’s lying beliefs, I had won the first fight. There would be many more to come but I had weakened my subconscious mind’s belief system JUST by making that decision.
And it was THIS decision that changed the course of my life forever.
You can read more about following your dreams in another post here, but NOW, I am going to share with you my fool-proof 4-step method for knocking out your limiting beliefs and creating fresh, new unstoppable awesome ninja beliefs that empower you, not limit you. Download my simple 4-Step Ninja Belief Strategy here.
Just remember, it’s normal to burden yourself with these beliefs about yourself, that you’re not worthy of more, that you’re scared of change or success, I have to work long hours for more money, I’m scared of being hurt. It can happen without you even realising it, but by taking the time to consider what you want to believe, YOU can make the decision to create fresh new positive beliefs and this will open SO many doors for you.
Changing your belief system is one of the most important steps to take in getting unstuck.
Believe that you can and you will!
Will your subconscious beliefs be the reason you stop taking action toward the positive results you want from life?
Or will you change them into the ultimate opportunity to create something extraordinary whether it is a transformation in yourself, your career, or your life?
I help to empower Mums to do this so they don’t miss another opportunity to actually enjoy what they do and have a real sense of purpose of why they’re doing it.
If this is you and you are ready to change, get in touch with me HERE and book a call so we can chat when it’s convenient to you.